Ever Since…

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I know its  been a while since you’ve gotten a ‘real’ post from me but ever since ‘that post’, I’ve been nervous about what I write.  I’m worried about everything little thing I say, how I say it, worried it will come across the wrong way, wondering if someone ‘out there’ will take it the wrong way… I log out. But do you want to know what’s crazy?  Ever since ‘that post’, I’ve received many e-mails asking my opinion on many touchy topics.  I’m laughing as I type.  You people are killing me!  If I were to answer 1/2 of the questions that you have e-mailed me, I can’t imagine the uproar I will cause.  And let me just tell you, I’m SURE to say something wrong (without meaning to).  I think its funny how much we all like to read and comment on touchy topics (not that I ever intended on ‘that post’ being a touchy topic) but people like it!  I’m just not sure I want to be the one to write my opinion on it all.  Too much judgement.  Not to mention…

Have I ever told you how many times my opinions change on 1 topic?  I’m sure yours does too – Especially if your a woman.  And especially depending on what time of month it is.  (fyi- not that my opinion has changed since ‘that post’… it was just taken the wrong way But let’s think about it – How often do you change your opinion on a color?  I’ll pick blue.  For me, blue and I have a love/hate relationship and if you want my opinion on it… well, yesterday I hated it.  And today I actually love blue.  Let’s just say I forgot to tell you that my opinion changed from hate to love and then you see me wearing blue.  You’ll probably think to yourself, “She hates blue!? Liar. Why would she say that and then do the complete opposite of what she said?”  Maybe you’d even e-mail me or call me names.  SEE what I mean?  That’s why I’m afraid to write about all the touchy topics you’re emailing me.  My opinion is bound to change as I’m sure yours does too on many things in life!  (fyi- I can’t wait to hear my husband laugh at my analogy) I will say this: If I blog about a touchy topic like I’m about to do (yep, you just read that), I can guarantee my thoughts will probably change within months.

I also vote that if I post a touchy topic, we’re all constructive about what is said.  I will never criticize, put down, call names or go in with the intention of hurting someone’s feelings.  OK. Ready?  Here goes nothing: I’ll ‘touch on’ this e-mail from a reader…

* TOUCHY TOPIC TUESDAY *

“I wanted to ask your opinion and maybe its something you would be interested blogging about. (may be one of those ‘controversial’ ones.) But as a blogger, you post your life in pictures (and your sons) for people to see.  Has anyone ever said anything rude to you about not giving your kids ‘a chance to be anonymous?’ Personally I have albums of my child on Facebook and I have received a backlash of comments from people I thought were my friends telling me that its irresponsible of me.  We have extended family that lives across the country and Facebook is how they watch my child grow.  I was just wondering if you ever had to deal with this.”

Thanks for writing!  So its clear by my posts and pictures on my blog that I’m not *too shy* about posting pictures of my family.  We also have family out of town that love being about to read about what’s going on with us and see pictures of the boys.  I also enjoy blogging and sharing our lives with our readers and part of sharing who we are is showing you through pictures.  I keep a few rules in my head when blogging or posting to Facebook:

  1. I will never post a naked picture (even though I have many cute bum photos I would love for you all to see *wink*)
  2. I will never post a picture of the outside of our house (too private in my opinion)
  3. I take advantage of Facebook privacy settings (as I feel we all should)
  4. Most Recent Rule: I won’t post any pictures of horrible melt downs, ‘bad moments’, mean or sad faces on the boys, etc. etc. (instead, I’ll tell you about it)

Why the last rule?  Some have said its making myself out to look like we’re all perfect.  HA!  (And yes, I’ve received rude comments about this issue myself.  Heck, I have gotten rude comments on just about everything! haha).  We’re not perfect.  I’ll write about our imperfect days but showing it in picture form of my children?  That’s just mean and not fair.  Nor would I want someone posting a picture of ME having a bad day or sad moment, or whatever.  To be honest, now that I really think about it, I go back and forth on this topic (as does my hubby) – Sometimes we feel the need to ‘hide-out’ and keep to ourselves (sometimes not even blog) and other times, I’m like, “WHO. REALLY. CARES.  Honestly, the chances of my children being stalked is insignificant.”  I don’t know how many mothers are on Facebook, but I would venture to believe 90% of those mothers have pictures of their kids on their page.

Times have changed and this is what we do.  Its just the modern day version of pulling out the wallet photos.  Experts agree.  A New York Times article by Stephen Balkam, chief executive of the Family Online Safety Institute was quoted as saying: “Research shows that there is virtually no risk of pedophiles coming to get kids because they found them online.”  See?  I do feel that we (as parents) sometimes forget that when we post pictures, the world can see them (I’m guilty).  When we post pictures, we’re thinking of the people we want to view our photo and forget about the others.  I do it even in writing.  We still need to be careful though.  As for me, I will continue to post pictures with my rules and the rules I don’t even realize I have and I’d say to you: Keep posting ‘clean’ pictures for your family to see.  Set your privacy settings on Facebook.  If you ever question whether to post a photo of not, even if for a split second you question it, don’t post it.  Print and send it via snail mail if its that important your Grandma see!  (Grandma’s love snail mail anyway.)  Hope that helps a *little!

READERS: WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON THIS?

* Remember the rules when replying to a ‘touchy topic’ *

BE NICE.

NO NAME CALLING.

DON’T CRITICIZE.

BE CONSTRUCTIVE.

xo

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Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    I was wondering if that was the reason you slowed considerably down in posting. Glad you are back. :)

    I thought about this topic when posting pictures of my boys. I’ve got a few of my rules, that I don’t even realize I have had honestly. But when I start thinking, I guess I do have them. ;)

    The chances (to me) of a child stalker, or for that matter one that would stalk me, are slim. They are about as slim as they would be if one were to do this without me ever having used the internet.

    I just be careful as you are about my OUT there info. My personal facebook is locked down. But my ” facebook page” one is up and out there with all my blog info and all that. :)

    It’s really a matter of what the person if comfortable with really. :)

  2. girl what happened i missed “the post”!! ignore any haters out there… this is a wonderful creative outlet for you…and a documentation of your lovely family!! I have found that in sharing my life (my family life has to be included) I have been able to grow so much as a mother..a wife..learning from my fellow bloggers and also learning about myself! You know i’ve gone through a recent tragedy..and I feel that my blog has been a way for me to heal..and I have been AMAZED at the responses from people who have been experiencing similar sufferings as me.. or going through their our journey as a mom.. and my blog has been able to give them inspiration or strength..and i never thought my little blog could do that! You have no idea the impact that you blog is having on people who read it.. you are being brave and open.. sharing your thoughts for others to encourage and celebrate motherhood! I applaud you girl. I have similar restrictions when it comes to blogging about my children. I think many bloggers share those “codes of conduct” when it comes to that area.. Sorry this is so long but wanted to just encourage you and support you as a fellow mommy blogger!!

  3. lynn badamo says:

    Hi Sweetie!
    Yes, I’m the first in line to comment! Oh well, just came in from a wonderful walk and saw this. I agree with your ‘rules’. My only question is: I understand that on Facebook, you decide who your friends are, but on your blog…do you get to decide who follows you? Just curious because you have received some mean intended comments from some I am sure you do not know all of your followers. I am coming from one generation back and we had none of this ‘social media’ so I’m all about protection for my grandsons, but I also understand wanting to ‘share’ them and your lives as well. Anyway, if someone wants to find you or your readers, it isn’t hard to do this. Keep up the good work and I say if you are so inclined to talk about touchy subjects, go ahead and do it with ‘your rules’!!!

  4. jimmie lee says:

    I am glad you are back :)
    I too am leery about posting pics of me or my kids (I do not get nearly as much blog traffic as you do though) I to make sure I don’t post pics of the outside of my house. And I make sure I don’t give any inclination of where I live. I have read that if you are posting from a smart phone and have the GPS on someone can track pretty much exactly where you are, at least in terms of posting on FB and such so thats something to think about.
    I also do not share ‘nakey’ baby pics it will be embarrassing enough when I get to show their girlfriends, hehe. As do I also use my FB privacy settings for other more personal reasons as well.
    When it come to protecting our kids online just use your gut and common sense ( and when you have a pre-teen like me, strong will!)
    XO (and I mean that ;)

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