I can breathe again.

Today is a new day.  I can’t believe how much I FEEL like a different person.  As sad as it is, the way I feel makes me realize that I was having such an unhealthy pregnancy.  I feel like sickness was removed from my body and as odd as this sounds, it feels so good…  Like I can breathe again.  I had a horrible 4 days.  Though my miscarriage is not completely done, Saturday and Sunday were the worst days and I got through it.  Yes, it was painful and very emotional but nothing any woman couldn’t handle.  I made the decision to miscarry this child naturally.  I could have made the decision on Friday morning to have a procedure done but without my eyes seeing the reality, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  When I didn’t see any signs of something happening, no matter what the Dr.’s told me, I didn’t believe them and had hope.  So I cried.  and prayed.  and cried and then let my body do what it needed to do.  For me, seeing was believing and that’s what I needed to get through this.  Please know that if you’ve gone through having a miscarriage and have had any kind of procedure done, I do not pass judgement.  I support you and feel for you greatly – You made the decision that was right for you.

I hope and pray that through sharing my ‘live’ situation, it will help others to do the same thing. Don’t hold it in.  We don’t realize how how supportive people are until we place ourselves in a vulnerable state.  The love that I received after sharing my story still makes me shake my head in disbelief.  The loving words, the flowers sent, the home cooked meals that were brought to my house, the notes from those I know and those I’ve never met, e-mails from women out there who have gone through this, etc…  I’m so grateful and blessed to have so many beautiful people in my life.  I needed you and you were right there.  I didn’t reply to anyone yet but just know that if you connected with me in ANY way, I know you were there and appreciate you more than any ‘thank you’ note could express.  Know that you helped me in such a big way and know that I felt your love and prayers through this whole thing.

I feel good today and still cling to God knowing that He has a perfect plan for our family.  I hope our family will grow and I’m ready for my body to start recovering.  Its a longer road going the natural route but a road I’m ready to take.  Over the past 4 days, I found a new appreciation for my 2 beautiful boys and gained a little more patience too.  Whatever it is your going through, don’t go through it alone.  Its a heavy weight & there are so many people who know what your going through.  Thank You to those of you who have been praying for me and continue to pray for my recovery.  Prayer is a powerful thing and when we put our problems out there and let others pray for us, our recovery is quicker.  I highly recommend it for whatever it is you may be going through – I totally felt all the love and prayer over the past 4 days and it was so comforting knowing that you were out there praying for me.  Lastly, thank you for your LOVE ~ I just know its going to be ok.

xo

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