He walks in the door at 6:30pm. He asks, “You ok?” “I’m just going through it.” I reply. I love when he knows when somethings up and I have to just admit that I still have days where I’m just mad that I had a miscarriage. I’m mad that I lost a pregnancy and then my madness turns into worry. Is something wrong? Is there a deeper problem that I can’t see? Is my family complete? Sometimes I over think what’s going on but I’m able to shake it off and other days, by 6:30pm, I realize that I just ‘went through it’ that day. I didn’t enjoy it to its fullest or soak up the opportunities that could have been right in front of me. I was too caught up in my own life that I only focused on the people living under our roof. Often times, I will look back on a day, a moment, a situation and realize that I missed an opportunity to share and encourage and maybe even help someone who was going through the same thing. I’ve met so many women in the past few months who have also had a miscarriage. I now realize that I experienced something that many other women have too. I’ve shared, encouraged and uplifted a few people too, I think.
Today, I had an ‘oh my goodness’ moment. One of the things I prayed for after my miscarriage was a project. I needed something to keep me busy… busier than I was. When I took my positive pregnancy test, I instantly gained a project. I began nesting immediately… Prepping our home, putting together my thoughts for a nursery, figuring out the boys rooms, the clothes, the storage, organizing and then I lost it all. Pregnancy & Projects. Yes, I had my 2 kids (which was & is phenomenal) but we were already organized… prepped… together. Today, as I sat down to prep more for Saturday’s Mother’s Day Event at TJMaxx, I realized that this event was an answer to prayer. I asked for a project, for something to keep me busy & occupy my free time… something NEW, something EXCITING, something FUN and He totally answered my prayer. Since I prayed for this, I began meeting more people, getting in contact with really cool companies, setting up giveaways, re-designing the page… and then TJMaxx came along – something that keeps me busier than ever and I’m loving every moment of this project. This event may be so silly to some, so meaningless to others but I want you to know that I’m back in my element. I’m taking my mind off of my kids for a short period of time when I log on and work on this blog and my upcoming event. I’m working on something that excites me and its just what I needed.
Someone once told me that when we release our testimony, it releases hope that if God can do this for me, He can do it for you too. That’s why I’m writing this. If He can answer my prayer and give me the ‘project’ I so needed and asked for and wanted, He can answer your prayer too. I want to thank you greatly for being here with me. I want you to know how excited I am about this ‘project’ of mine. Though I’m doing it for me, I’m also doing it for you too and your support is so needed & much appreciated. I can’t wait to see you on Saturday – I hope you bring 10 people with you and really don’t care if you buy a thing. In fact, I just hope someone I know shows up and puts her name in the bowl and wins something awesome. I hope someone shows up and eats a cookie with me. I hope to take you out of your element for a brief moment like I have been doing while prepping for this event. I needed this event & though it came to me last minute, it came at the perfect time in my life. I really hope your part of it on Saturday.