Today is my birthday and I’ve been pooped and puked on by my poor little guy Roman all day. I kid you not, he got a bug from the pool last night. Even though my job never stops and there’s never a dull moment or a break to be had (even on birthdays), I feel so blessed and thankful for my life! Do you take time to reflect during certain milestones, events, etc in your life? I usually don’t, but this year, I guess I am reflecting. At 28, I feel so grateful for all that I have! Even though Roman was sick today and Rocco continued to test me (even on my birthday), such is life and I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change a thing. I never thought I’d be this happy and content at 28. A lot has happened this past year and my birthday came at a perfect time. Time for a new year and new experiences with the ones I love. I’m married to my best friend, a man that I adore and have 2 beautiful little boys with, I have incredible friends and family that I love more than words and a support system that’s bigger than I ever imagined… and yes, I mean YOU too! This is going to be a sweet year.My reflections on the year started over the weekend. As we worked around our home, I stared at a garage sale flyer that sat on the kitchen counter and I couldn’t help but to THINK. The first thing I thought about was BEDROOM #4. OK, so I fibbed, I do want something to change. Let me tell you about it. Bedroom #4 is a room full of memories both old and new. My memories. My wedding dress sits preserved in the closet, my devotionals are staggered on a $3.00 table. There’s an old desk that holds love notes between Brian and I from 1999 in the top drawer and in the bottom drawer are photos of my best friend and I… In the mix are old cards, contacts, perfume bottles, stationary, my high school diploma… In the closet, there are baby clothes that I’ve never used and bridesmaids dresses that I always intended to cut apart and create something fabulous with (but never did). My elliptical sits along the wall facing a hand-painted engagement photo of Brian and I and its surrounded by bins and bins of clothes and misc. boxes that aren’t in use. Its a hodgepodge within a hodgepodge.
I use this room every day and every day I look around at disbelief that I would allow a room in our home to look like this. Its just not who I am. I’m an overly organized person that lives by the motto, “Everything has a bin, a basket, a home.” Even though this room is a disaster, I know if ever we leave here, I’ll stand at this door last and reminisce about my time alone in there… You see, this room is much more than I described. Its a room that also holds all of my anxieties, my stresses, my fears and my worries. I open the door, bring it all in, work it out and leave it there until I return. I spend each day in there exercising on my elliptical and while I’m on it, I listen to music, pray, watch tv, play around on my iPad, laugh, cry, think, dream… I love this mess of a room and my time spent there but recently, I can feel the old energy and I’m tired of it and ready for it to end.
Today, on my 28th birthday, I decided that this room is what I want to change by year end… Baby or no baby in sight. It needs to become something because its a reminder to me of too many thoughts & feelings I had in there (over 5 yrs) and I’m ready to put it all to rest. Not to mention, I’m ready for something new and sick of this space being what it is (my dumping ground). I envision this room to be something sweet and I also have high hopes that it will belong to someone one day too. For now, I’m ready to get rid of the hodge-podge and change things up. The door has been closed for 5 years and its time to leave it open and make it part of our home. I’m a blessed young mama with a fabulous family and I’m so thankful for our life together and all that we have! I don’t need a pity room where I leave my fears & worries anymore. I like reflecting on my birthday! Birthdays may not be perfect (like when you have a little one puking on you) but this one was perfect and I definitely had a little ‘Ah ha’ moment. I feel like a different person this year… is it safe to say older? ; ) More mature? And its the first year that I can say, I know what I want but I’m content where I am. Today I made some progress on bedroom #4 and better yet, my sweet man came home from work early with balloons and flowers and the best card he’s ever gotten/written me. THE BEST. He cooked us an incredible dinner and then he helped me move bins out of ‘the room’! I’m blessed! And I’m excited about this new room and feel so good that we’ll have it to hold my stuff and it will still be pretty & inviting! I’ll be sure to show you pics when its complete!
Thanks for all the birthday love today on FB, Twitter, E-Mail and by Phone… you all are truly spectacular gems in my life!