10 Things No One Told Me About Raising Boys

 It took me 4 years to write something like this but now that I feel like I know boys well, its time to share with you the things no one told me about raising them… The good, the bad and the ugly!  All in all, I must say: I’m having the time of my life, I’ve laughed more in the past 4 years than I have in 28 years, I’ve shook my head in disbelief countless times and I’ve made more weird & disgusting faces than ever before!  I love being a mom of boys… I just wish someone would have prepared this girly mama (me!) a little better…

Boys love to get into trouble.  If its quiet in the house, don’t ever think that they could be quietly reading or quietly building puzzles or quietly coloring.  There’s no such thing as quiet play.  Quiet = Trouble.

Boys are fearless.  They climb without thinking, jump without questioning & roll without looking.  They have good intention but don’t spread your arms wide when they come running for a hug.  It will turn into a full body tackle.  Trust me.

Boys are sweet and sensitive.  They love to kiss, snuggle, and compliment every sequins, sparkle and skirt you wear and their love is consistent and never fades.

Boys play with their penises… All the time.  They show it off, touch it, ask about it, stick it out, tuck it under, compare it, measure it… you name it.  Boys LOVE their private parts.

Boys don’t stop moving.  They have an insane amount of energy from the time they wake until the time they go to sleep (and then some).  They play hard, run fast and act wild. Its a crazy awesome day but there’s no stopping so when in the presence of boys, be ready to G-O!

Boys visit the ER at least 5 times in their first few years of life.  From flying off of a rocking horse into the corner of the coffee table, jumping off the top of a slide onto hard ground, or even pouring water on the bathroom floor so it would become a slip and slide, boys don’t ever think they can get hurt… until they do and you’re rushing to the ER. (BTW- The 3 examples were my last 3 trips to the ER.)  Know the fastest route to your ER.

“Poop”, “Poopy” and “Pooey” = A boys favorite word.  Everything and everyone is “Poopy!”  Your food is poopy, your clothes are poopy, their toys make poopy sounds; its just a poopy world, you know?  I thought I was alone in having boys who love this word until I met other moms of boys.  Its true.  Boys love those words and once they learn them, everything around them is poopy.

Boys need helmets.  Invest in a good one.  Boys don’t just play with a toy the way they are supposed to be played with.  They ride on toys that aren’t made for riding, stand on toys that are meant to sit still on; boys slide down driveways with things that aren’t even toys and climb on objects that aren’t meant for climbing.  Boys fall all. the. time. so a helmet is a must.

Watching your little boy with your man is the best feeling in the world.  When your hubby tosses a stuffed baseball or football to your son, it will put such a huge smile on your face because you know that the love of your life is in Heaven with his son!  Whether they are high-fiving, fist-bumping or just sharing a laugh, there’s something that screams ‘fatherhood’ when your guys play together – and you’ll be so happy for your man as you are for your little Dad-worshipper.

Simply Put: Boys are awesome.  Even though boys are wild and crazy and you can count on there always being a calm before the storm, they are awesome.  And the greatest thing about raising them?  They make their mamas queens, their daddy’s heros, their brothers best friends and their sisters princesses… Its the best thing in the world.

xo

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