What a morning. You know, it’s so funny to me when people say, “Look at you! You’re so put together!” or “I don’t know how you always have it together!” This whole “together” thing makes me laugh. And then I roll my eyes and shake my head. Let me tell you, just because I did my 5 minute face and threw on a cotton dress this morning, in no way, shape or form means that I have it together. I just felt like looking half decent while not having it together. I’m telling you, I’ve lost my marbles mamas; they are gone! Gone, I said. And days like today are a reminder that I need to stop life, stop running wild and take a moment to pick them all up.
Today, I’m a hot mess. Well, WE are all a mess here at 1046.
The morning started out perfectly. I opened my eyes at 5:00am for the FIRST time. My Mario had slept the whole night through and I was well rested for the day. Thank God, because it all went downhill from there. The morning rush with the 4 of us is just insane. It’s like, Ready. Set. GO! from the time I wake until the time they are safe and sound in their pre-school classrooms. After drop off, I pulled into the SBux drive-through and read a sign that said the drive-through was broken and wait time would be longer. Awesome. No coffee. I drove out of line, headed straight to my 6 week Dr.’s apt (for me) and made it just in time. I swooped Mario out of the car and into the office and then realized I had nowhere to put him when it was time to fill out paperwork and be examined. The nurse needed me to weigh in and of course, I wasn’t going to add 10 lb.’s to the scale by holding Mario while I got on, so I put him on the exam table and weighed myself. Yep : ) And I even subtracted a few lb.’s too!
I left my apt and went to Bed Bath & Beyond for new KCups. Coffee was heavy on my mind. Mario screamed. He hates the car-seat and this time, I brought the car-seat. Everyone stared at me.
Why do people have to stare?
It’s not like I’m going to leave. I need KCups for cryin’ out loud. And I need a lot. I need to look at the new ones, debate if I’m in the mood for Coconut, Creme Brule or ___ and he’s crying. I know. I grabbed a box of Chocolate Raspberry, Mudslide & Hazelnut Cream (I love flavored coffee) and then me and my screaming baby got in a crazy long line. That’s when the questions & comments began.
“Awe, someone doesn’t like to shop!”
“What’s her name?” (as he’s wearing all blue and zipped into an all blue car-seat cover)
Honestly, I’m usually very friendly but I can’t focus or have a chipper conversation when my baby is screaming. And beat red. Needless to say, people realized that I wasn’t getting out of line and they all let me go ahead of them.
Onward we went, a few pounds lighter, with new KCups, a fresh diaper and we arrived at school to pick up the big boys. I got out of the car with Mario in arms, began feeding him, I smiled and said hello to a few moms, chit chatted with a teacher and then rounded the corner to the playground where the kids are. I scanned the playground looking for Roman and my eyes noticed a little boy bum and a little boy penis.
- Now mind you, this is when it all went down in slow motion for me. -
I scanned the playground looking for Roman and saw a penis. I looked to another mom giving her that look like, ‘Glad it’s not my kid‘ and then I kept scanning for Roman… I looked towards the diggers, the sand, the water pump all while thanking God that the kid with his penis out wasn’t mine. I couldn’t find Roman. Looked to my left, looked to my right… and then it hit me.
That was Roman.
THAT WAS ROMAN!
It was HIS penis!
And Oh my goodness gracious, Lord help me… He is PEEING!!!
By the entrance door!
Where EVERYONE enters and exits the pre-school!
The 4′s teacher called over to the 3′s teacher (Roman’s teacher) and she yelled, “Roman!” and ran towards him. I looked towards the other mamas and say, “Yes! Of course it’s my child. Of course.” And not only is he peeing but it’s splashing up onto the other boys pants next to him. I made a mad dash with Mario over to him and his teacher.
I bent down to him and could feel the wind under my dress. It crossed my mind that I could have been flashing the mamas, but by now, good Lord, who cares… my son is PEEING where everyone enters and exits the preschool and onto another boys legs too! And not to mention, Mario is now dangling from my arms dribbling milk out of his mouth. I said, ‘Roman. ROMAN! We don’t pee on the walkway; near the DOOR. Where everyone WALKS! Roman! Why didn’t you get your teacher? The bathroom is inside! You know that. They will always open the door for you.’
He put his head down and his lip started to quiver. I felt bad for him; he was so embarrassed. I put my head down to talk to him and got a glimpse of my breast pad (I have an issue with those stupid things.)… We’re officially a mess and if someone took a picture of that scene, you’d see Roman standing over a puddle of pee, another boy looking down at his legs in confusion, Mario dangling on my hip and me bending down next to Roman with my dress all twisted and breast pads hanging out of my bra. And Lord only knows the rest of my dress situation (remember I felt wind?). I fixed myself quickly, put Mario on my shoulder and then asked Roman to apologize to his teacher. What’d he say?
The child said, ‘No.’ ?!?!?
“No? What do you mean, no? You need to apologize for what you did. It was an accident Roman, but you need to say you’re sorry.”
Now what do I do? If I were to ever sternly tell Rocco to apologize in a situation, he would. This is new territory for me. Roman? He’s like, ‘No mom.’ and then shows no sign that he’s scared of what might happen if he doesn’t do what he’s told. We headed to the car and decided that he’ll ‘write’ (aka. scribble a ‘space-ship’) an apology letter. We were embarrassed; all of us… and I couldn’t wait to get home. Life is easy at home. I think the rush of the morning is the hardest part about having 3. Having to get everyone out of bed, fed, dressed, hair, teeth, bathroom, book-bags, in the car and to school on time every day, while breast feeding, burping and changing an infants diaper is the hard part. Being home with everyone all day is easy. No wonder mamas home-school. You get to move at your own pace. Get into a routine that works for you and isn’t scheduled for you.
We got home and my PiggyToes felt wet. I realized that I must have stepped in pee. I’m so grossed out. We all need a shower.
There’s no moral to the story, no answer as to why Roman did what he did. And poor Mario… being dangled all around. He’s so chill; especially when I’m holding him. All I know is that I currently have 3 boys sleeping, I brewed my a new KCup and poured it over ice and then changed out of my dress. Which by the way, in doing so, noticed that oh yes, my dress is see through and you could see my leopard undies. Perfect. Just a little Fashion Faux Paux for you… Which just makes the pre-school scene even better. I can seriously close my eyes and picture what all the other mamas got to witness.
Pee, boys, pee on clothes, pee on PiggyToes, a mama dangling her 6 week old, breast pads hanging out, leopard undies under a see through dress…
I tell ya.
That’s all. Time to find my marbles. Then, I’m done for the day.
PS. Don’t leave without telling me that your son/daughter has peed in public before too. I know I’m not alone but seriously, tell me.